WHY is that one guy hitting that other guy?

HOW come no one's talking?

WHO are the fun police?

ARE they police that are fun, or police that arrest fun?

Unfortunately, they're the kind that arrest fun. The only police that are fun are the Keystone Kops, and those guys who were in a band with Sting a few years back. But don't worry... the fun police aren't on the Internets. Yet. So you'd better get your fun in now! 

And that starts with reading today's Circuit!

WHY is everyone pressuring the little guy to drink so much?

WHAT if he causes a scene?

IS the AC guy okay?

ISN'T it way too early to start drinking hooch?

Not if you're a samurai, it isn't. If you're just a regular thug in a gang... no, it's not too early then, either. Surprisingly enough, there is a time and a place for hooch. Standing in a dusty village in the hot sun is one of those places. And the middle of the day is one of those times. Midday is only a good time for hooch if you're in the aforementioned dusty village, though. If you're on a mountaintop, or in a secret government lab, that's a different story. Actually... those are both great places for hooch-drinking as well. Okay, so I can't think of any bad places to drink hooch, but I'm sure they exist. You'll know one when you see it.

WILL he drink the hooch?

HOW come he's never heard of it?

WHAT happens after he drinks it?

IS there anything else you can do with hooch?

I think a better question is: what can't you do with hooch? It won't do your taxes, for one thing. You can try, but I wouldn't recommend it. Also, it's not very good at hosting its own variety show... scratch that. Hooch is actually great at hosting its own variety show. Guests are always very talkative, and generally in a good mood. The monologue's a bit long and rambling, but, whatever. It means well.

Go read today's Circuit!